LIFE IN THE COLE BIN

By Burton W. Cole On this Valentine’s Day, remember the wise words of the great philosopher Rita Rudner: “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Ah, love. Is there anything better?

LIFE IN THE COLE BIN

By Burton W. Cole, columnist As a certified, professional humor columnist, I have researched thousands of depressing, horrible and shocking news stories during my career.

LIFE IN THE COLE BIN

By Burton W. Cole We rent our house from a cat. True, I make the monthly mortgage payments. My wife, Terry, buys the cat food — but only certain flavors from specific brands, if we know what’s good for us.

LIFE IN THE COLE BIN

By Burton W. Cole   The year remains fresh and new. There’s still time to start — or reboot — those pesky resolutions, like showing up on time for work, calling your mother more than twice a year, or dropping 15 pounds.

LIFE IN THE COLE BIN

By Burton W. Cole,   I don’t smell so good. Oops, grammar, Burt. I meant to say that I don’t smell very well. Science says so. The male nose typically is far less efficient than the female nose. So we win.

The Falmouth Outlook’s Christmas Coloring Contest Winners

The Falmouth Outlook held a coloring contest during the month of December so children could enter and win prizes for first, second and third places. We were excited about the number of entries we had and the fun everyone reportedly had.

LIFE IN THE COLE BIN

By Burton W. Cole, Columnist The thermometer outside our frosted kitchen window curled into a shivering ball. I smiled. “It's time.” A walking bundle of laundry trundled into the kitchen.

LIFE IN THE COLE BIN

By Burton W. Cole, Columnist Every Jan. 1, we resolve to lose 20 pounds by next Christmas. (I have only 30 pounds to go). So what do we do on Dec. 31? We mash into our mouths all the stuff we’re swearing to never again to put into our newly sleek and sexy bodies. Come Jan.