What's the opposite of attraction?
BURTON W. COLE, Editor
By Burton W. Cole
“Why,” my first wife often asked, “are together? We have nothing in common.”
The answer was obvious — opposites attract. I know this to be true because I saw it on a TV talk show. You cannot get any more authoritative on this side of social media than a TV talk show.
If it’s on a TV talk show, it must be true. Maybe not as true as everything on the internet, but solid just the same.
On this talk show, a lady named Dr. Pat Love (no, really, that’s her name), a relationship therapist (ditto) declared that the fault does indeed lie within me—specifically in my DNA. And yours.
DNA—the stuff that determines our looks, personalities, shoe size and ability to hit a jump shot or play “Yankee Doodle” on spoons — quivers to the electrical charges it feels from DNA least like itself.
The two opposite DNAs, which should immediately get to work arguing over carpet color and restaurant choices, instead release hormones that make the two opposites tongue-wagging bonkers for each other.
“That’s because Nature has an interest in diversity,” Dr. Love said. “It’s preservation of the species.”
It’s after the odd pair become a couple that they go from absolutely crazy for each other to absolutely crazy.
“Monogamy becomes monotony,” Dr. Love said. “Nature has a great stake in getting us together but not in keeping us together.”
That’s where we get that great saying, “Love is a verb,” because falling in love is as easy as wandering by an opposite; staying in love requires wetting your finger and sticking it in a light socket to keep the sparks flying.
I have no clue how throwing two opposites under the same roof can be considered anything close to monotonous. Two opposites are full of enough complications to be anything but boring.
If you get two opposites rubbing each other the wrong way, you’re going to produce enough friction to cause sparks.
It was one of those nights all those years ago when we were trying to decide whether to go shopping or what radio station to tune in or what picture to hang on the wall when my sweetie blurted out in frustration, “How did we ever get together when we have so little in common?”
That’s exactly how it happened. The common denominator was nothing in common. That certainly keeps the sparks flying in plenty of marriages, though perhaps not quite the sparks to which Dr. Love said we need to cultivate.
In our house, (which was the one she wanted, not the one I wanted, by the way), she liked country music. I am sensible and prefer jazz.
She apparently enjoyed hacking her way through clothing aisles in department stores. I found the electronics department much more interesting. Or the snack bar.
She was full of energy which had to be used in blurs of activity. I preferred conservation of natural resources, usually from my very own easy chair.
Obviously, we were meant for each other. A match couldn’t be more perfect. Between the two of us, we made a well-rounded, complete set.
When I didn’t clean a room to her satisfaction or didn’t notice that a light bulb was out and needed changing, I was showing my affection. If I hadn’t loved her so much, I wouldn’t have been so opposite.
She, of course, took the opposite viewpoint of that and set me out on the curb with the rest of the useless annoyances.
I guess we had something in common.
Burt is not a marriage counselor. But for opposite advice, contact him at news@falmouthoutlook.com. We recommend that you not pay in advance.