Phases
By: Kevin Barnard, columnist
By Kevin Barnard, columnist
As I stated early on, I don’t have any letters after my name. So, I don’t claim to be an expert. However, some experts will package grief in a nice little checklist and state that there are five phases of grief. And as you travel through these compartmentalized phases, you process your grief and overcome it in the end.
If you read about grief, you may agree. If you’ve experienced grief, the phases are much more complicated than that. You don’t get a nice checklist to work through when your life has been devastated.
But there is some truth to phases of grief and phases to life after losing someone. They don’t have labels in my mind, nor is there much rhyme or reason to them.
Phases of facing the day with enthusiasm…phases of “not doing this day.” Phases of helping others with their grief…phases of thinking you have no business helping others when you can’t get it together yourself. Phases of not being able to make it through the day without tears. Phases of too many people around…phases of “where is everyone?” Phases of “I got this”…phases of “yeah…not so much”.
Phases of grief are complicated, not easily defined, not easily understood, but they are very real. So do your best with the phase that you’re in. Learn from mistakes. Find rainbows during the storm. Try new things. Fight the good fight. And in time…as you work through your phases… may we all find take the necessary steps to find our Healing Out Loud.