What's so cozy about Novem-brrrr?
By Burton W. Cole
I tugged the weighted blanket tightly across my shivering shoulders. If I could figure out how to toss another log onto the electric fireplace, I would.
I reread the articles. Nope, it hadn’t been the cold-induced hallucination of a numbed brain. The words were plain:
“November is the coziest month of fall.”
If burrowing into a blanket while huddled into the folds of an easy chair is cozy, then I suppose it is. But I’d never considered November as cozy.
In November, we haven’t dug all the winter clothes out of the closet yet, because it’s still supposed to be fall. We forget that November is one of those “brrrr” months — Octoberrrr, Novemberrrr, Decemberrrr, Janubrrrrary, Febrrrruary.
Even September has its brrrr moments, when tempbrrrrtures — oops, temperatures — plummet and we reach for our coats, hats, afghans and fuzzy socks.
The great philosopher Anonymous observed, “November: the month my thermostat and my bank account start fighting over the heating bill.” Brrrr.
The brrrr months are the ones when your partner decides the best way to warm her icy feet is to bury them into your back, and you wake up shivering and clutching the bedroom ceiling.
“I bought you those thick, fuzzy socks. Wear them!”
“But, honey, you’re so warm.”
“Not anymore. Either pry me off the ceiling or throw some blankets up here.”
As another great anonymous philosopher said, “November’s dress coded: sweater in the morning, regret by noon, blanket burrito by night.”
According to the romantic notions, November features the soft crispness of fall air, but not the full-on chill of winter weather. You can still enjoy pleasant afternoons of raking leaves (for the record, I have NEVER enjoyed raking leaves in any weather), but the evenings are quite pleasant for sweaters, hot chocolate and board game nights indoors.
To those of us whose romantic notions have been tucked into the back of the freezer, No-vember: A time to start saying, “No,” to people, places and things that drain your energy.
I especially say no to pumpkin spice. I have no objection to pumpkin pie on that thankful day on the last Thursday of November. But I’m more thankful that November at least means we’re into the waning days of everything from lattes to candles to probably deodorant and diapers being spiced with pumpkin.
The scent makes no sense to me other than it probably began as some chilled person’s frost-induced nippy delusion — in November: “I bet if I showered myself in pumpkin spice, I’d warm right up.”
Which reminds me, November was when my late wife hoarded canned goods — particularly Reddi Wip. She enjoyed a smattering of pumpkin pie with her whipped cream.
November, being the month of Thanksgiving, also is when we can express gratitude by staying in bed an extra hour when the time changes — and then we spend the rest of the month noticing that it’s already dark outside.
One person — possibly my wife — said, “I’d romanticize November more if it didn’t get dark before my coffee finished cooling.”
That’s November — cold, dark and brrrr, with a bit of Thankfulness and pumpkin pie thrown in at the end. How it ever became known as “the coziest month” remains an unsolved mystery.
As another great anonymous philosopher put it, “November is a mystery novel — full of twists and I’m always dressed wrong.”
The bears have it right: Don’t celebrate one hour of additional sleep; hibernate the whole month away! Other than the cave thing, that sounds downright cozy.
Snuggle under the thick blankets and think cozy thoughts at news@falmouthoutlook.com or on the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook. Brrrr.